Chinese Marinated Liangban Huanggua (Drug Cucumbers)

Ingredients

• 2 Large cucumbers (washed, ends removed, and thinly sliced into rounds)
• 2.5 tbsp Kumquat Seasoning Soy Sauce (roughly 2-3 tablespoons)
• 1.75 tbsp Chinese dark vinegar (roughly 1.5-2 tablespoons; distinct from rice vinegar)
• 1 tbsp Lao Gan Ma chili crisp (with a bit of the oil included)
• 1 tsp Sesame seed oil (or mayo, but sesame oil is preferred)
• 4 packets Artificial sweetener (of choice)
• 1 tbsp Fried onion or shallot bits (for texture)
• Water (referred to as dihydrogen monoxide; enough to submerge everything)

Steps

1. 1

   Wash the cucumbers and cut off the ends.

2. 2

   Thinly slice the cucumbers into circular rounds. Keep the core/seeds intact as they are essential for this recipe's texture.

3. 3

   Place the cucumber slices into a large container that can comfortably fit all of them and has a tight-sealing lid.

4. 4

   Add approximately 2 to 3 tablespoons of Kumquat Seasoning Soy Sauce over the cucumbers.

5. 5

   Add 1.5 to 2 tablespoons of Chinese dark vinegar.

6. 6

   Add a generous scoop of Lao Gan Ma chili crisp, ensuring you include some of the flavored oil from the jar.

7. 7

   Drizzle in about a teaspoon of sesame seed oil.

8. 8

   Dust 4 packets of your preferred artificial sweetener over the top.

9. 9

   Add a handful of fried onion or shallot bits for extra crunch.

10. 10

    Pour in enough water (dihydrogen monoxide) to completely submerge the cucumber slices.

11. 11

    Secure the lid tightly. Shake or turn the container upside down to ensure the marinade is well-distributed.

12. 12

    Let the cucumbers marinate in the refrigerator until you lose patience (at least 20-30 minutes is recommended for flavor penetration).

Notes

The creator emphasizes using Chinese dark vinegar specifically, as it has a drastically different flavor profile than rice or regular vinegar. The 'dihydrogen monoxide' mentioned in the video is simply water.

Nutrition per serving

• appetizer
• side dish
• vegetarian
• spicy
• no-cook
• marinated
• chinese
• cucumber salad